Preparing for Marriage: Getting Started

The first step in preparing for marriage is to contact the parish office and set up your first meeting to begin the official process. It's best not to book your wedding or reception until you've had this initial meeting, where you will be given information about the general requirements of Catholic marriage, guidelines for Catholic marriage in New Jersey and specific instructions from our parish.

You will meet with the Director of Pastoral Outreach, who will conduct an initial pre-nuptial interview. This is an important step to confirm your freedom to marry in the Church, or discover any special circumstances that may need to be dealt with before you may set your wedding date. In the event that special circumstances exist, you may need to complete additional forms and resolve those circumstances before your wedding. Your priest, deacon, or pastoral minister will guide you through the forms and steps.

Scheduling the Wedding

Your wedding date and time is confirmed after your freedom to marry in the Church is established. Parish calendar permitting, parishioners may choose to schedule a wedding at either Our Lady of Sorrows Church or St. Anthony Church. These are arranged at the parish office, and may be celebrated on Friday evening, Saturday morning, or early Saturday afternoon.

Choosing the Rite and Presider

In consultation with the pastoral assistant, priest, or deacon, you will decide whether the wedding will be celebrated within a Nuptial Mass or Nuptial Ceremony. Since non-Catholics may not receive the Holy Eucharist, it is strongly recommended that a Nuptial Ceremony be chosen when either the bride or groom is not Catholic, or when a large percentage of guests are not Catholic.

In most cases, a parish priest will prepare those couples requesting a Nuptial Mass. A deacon will prepare those couples requesting a Nuptial Ceremony. Priests and/or deacons who are relatives or friends of the couple are most welcome to witness and participate at parish weddings. Visiting priests or deacons intending to witness the marriage must contact the parish office to make arrangements.

When one of the parties is not Catholic, his or her minister is welcome to participate in the ceremony. This is arranged through the parish office.

Complete and Review FOCCUS

FOCCUS (Facilitiating Open Couple Communication, Understanding & Study) is a self-diagnostic instrument designed to help couples learn more about themselves and their relationship. It is not a "pass or fail" test, nor is it meant as a predictor of success or failure in marriage. It is a tool, based on data from successful marriages, which helps couples examine potential issues before marriage. The priest, deacon, or pastoral minister preparing you will discuss the results with you. (For more information, visit www.foccusinc.com.)

Schedule Additional Meetings

Meetings required in Stage III of the preparation process should be scheduled. Your priest, deacon, or pastoral minister may also recommend further meetings for catechesis, and they should also be scheduled at this time.