How much I must criticize you, my church,
and yet how much I love you!
You have made me suffer more than anyone
and yet I owe more to you than to anyone.
I should like to see you destroyed
and yet I need your presence.
You have given me much scandal and yet
you alone have made me understand holiness.
Never in this world have I seen anything
more compromised, more false,
yet never have I touched anything more pure,
more generous or more beautiful.
Countless times I have felt like
slamming the door of my soul in your face
and yet, every night,
I have prayed that I might die in your arms!
No, I cannot be free of you, for I am one with you,
even if not completely you.
Then to where would I go? To build another church?
But I could not build one without the same defects,
for they are my defects.
And again, if I were to build another church,
it would be my church, not Christ’s church.
No, I am old enough, I know better.
The holiness of the Church does not lie in her human members, for wherever there is humanity there is weakness, sin, and scandal. The holiness of the Church lies in the promise of Christ that He would remain with her until the end of time. The holiness of the Church derives from the Holy Spirit, who came upon the apostles at Pentecost and Who dwells in the Church, the Lord and Giver of Life.
The Church is holy and sinful. It is spotless and tainted. St. Teresa of Avila wrote that “the greatest mistake we make in life is taking our eyes off of Jesus.”
We make this mistake often enough to be sure. Trouble begins when we take our eyes off the Lord. In today’s epistle, Saint Paul offers us his own warning: “Watch carefully how you live…, not as foolish persons but as wise…because the days are evil…be filled with the Spirit.”
Let us then look upon Him—right here—right now—in this celebration of Mass. Here united to Our Lord in the Eucharist we receive the grace we need in what Fr. Henri Nouwen would call our “brokenness.” “Broken” is an apt word at this time. He would urge us to place that brokenness “under God’s blessing for our purification and sanctification,” that it may become “a gateway to new life”….three important words to remember: purification, sanctification, and new life. We need these more than ever, don’t we? We can indeed attain them if we keep our eyes on Jesus.